Recognizing that a relationship is no longer working can be a daunting realization for both spouses. Often, reconciliation is not possible, leaving divorce as the only viable solution.
While every divorce has its challenges, there are ways that both parties can make the separation less troublesome. This is especially important if children are involved, as a high-conflict divorce can have lasting impacts on their well-being. Generally, the courts prefer both parents to be actively involved in the upbringing of a child. Co-parenting can be successful, as long as the best interests of the child are prioritized. Outlined below are some tips to help make co-parenting a success.
Keep children out of arguments
As you settle into your new life post-divorce, there are bound to be times where you feel frustrated by your former partner. This could lead to an urge to speak negatively of them. While it is perfectly acceptable to confide in trustworthy adults, it is best to refrain from badmouthing your ex in front of the children. Even at the best of times, a divorce can harm the self-esteem of younger children. They are often inclined to blame themselves for the breakdown of the marriage. Witnessing high levels of conflict between parents will only serve to heighten these feelings of guilt.
Accept that you need to move on
Although it can be difficult to accept at first, what your ex does with their life after divorce is out of your hands, as long as it does not directly impact the children. Some parents opt to use their children to gather intel about private matters in their former partner’s life. Clinging on to the past in this way is likely to be harmful. It may be in your best interests to treat divorce as a chance for a fresh start rather than dwelling on your previous relationship.
Seeing both parents communicate appropriately after a divorce can help children cope with the process. As you make the transition into your new life, you should keep your legal rights in mind.